the irish blog awards, and The Oracle

first of all, congrats to fatmammycat and twenty major for representin (FMC in spirit) at the irish blog awards saturday nite. FMC took best post award; twenty snagged most humorous post and best blog overall. congrats to both, and to arseblog for winning best sport blog.

now, let us speak of sport, which i don't do often because i know that playing with dust particles is more exciting than reading about so-and-so's training plan, unless so-and-so happens to be your competition and if you are my competition then i have done this blogging thing wrong wrong all wrong.

to some people, having the right coach is the difference between an All-American season and one that ends in june when you're burnt out on the sofa reading Lucky magazine and eating Mallomars. finding a proper coach can be an arduous process, and having just gone through it myself i feel qualified to offer this guide called:

HOW TO FIND THE RIGHT MULTISPORT COACH FOR YOU:
A GUIDE FOR DUMBFUCKS ACCUSTOMED TO FLYING BY THE SEAT OF THEIR PANTS AND SETTING UP THEIR BIKES IN TRANSITION AS THE STARTGUN SOUNDS

step #1. undergo a rude awakening. finding out that qualifiers for long-course duathlon (run-bike-run) worlds are only a month away is very effective. attendant upon this awareness are these realities:

• - your first race of the season will be a worlds qualifier
• - your second race will be another worlds qualifier (for short course), 3 weeks later
• - you are just now coming off base. you have done NO speedwork.
  
• - you will be off the bike for 11 consecutive days this month
• - you are fucked
• - you need professional help
• - your bowels are hot, roiling liquid

2. while you're in the bathroom, text all your friends who have coaches and ask whether it's too late to get connected with them (it is MARCH, after all). don't discriminate, blanketbomb. beggars can't be choosers.

3. back at your desk, stare at your unresponsive phone and then recall a crazy pipedream idea E proposed on a ride. send an email to the 2004 elite world duathlon champion and throw yourself at his mercy, esplainin' you're seeking training & racing advice from someone who's:

• - experienced, and successful
  
• - okay training by feel not numbers, and not all caught up in heart-rate, wattages, V02 max or lactate-threshold. some people dig that shit. not me.
  
• - appreciative of the fact there's life outside training and racing. there's whisk(e)y, for one, and 65hr work weeks.
  
• - unlikely to get on your tits too bad if you spend a weekend in the boozetank or battling the Dog, instead of riding a bike.
  

4. SQUEEEEE when he says yes and run back to the bathroom.

so now, for the first time i have an Oracle to guide me and reveal certain truths -- like if i wish to place top 2 in my AG in carrboro, NC on april 6th i need to get on a bike as often as i can during those 11 days in scotland.

so, finn's world has undergone a seismic shift, and instead of lazily slouching toward a half-ironman in june we are rabbiting into race shape for april. huzzah! -and i need a nap.

countdown to richmond: 4 days

the bikes have been tuned, the hammie will be tuned by rudy this aft, carbs are loading as i type (better safe than sorry!), and tomorrow morning i am off to richmond.

i am not stressed about worlds. much. okay, i did have a dream about the race last night... in fact let me tell you about my dream because i'm a woman and according to one of westolowski's witnesses that's what we do. i dreamed that i finished up the first run with the leaders (1st sign this is Not Real) and darted into transition, only to find that my water bottles were empty, my shoes were gone, and so was my bike. i ran to the water table and decanted dozens of dixie cups into my water bottles and begged a pair of cycling shoes off a spectator. i still could not find my bike though, so i appealed to an official, and he said no worries we'll hook you up and he pointed to the mount/dismount area, and there was a rocking horse. and i had to ride the rocking horse and of course i didn't get very far and i kept telling myself even MY transitions are not this bad, it must be a dream, has to be, but i must have rocked for 20min before i finally convinced myself because my adductors are still sore. see, not stressed at all.

though i travel with the Mac Trinity, i may not write while i'm down there. if you're interested you might wanna check out two of my competitors -- er, Team USA teammates. these girls are the Real Deal and i predict for them age group podium finishes, maybe even overall placings.
http://kerrirobbins.blogspot.com/
http://www.aliciaparr.com/blog/

ttyl.