Monday, January 08, 2007

peas in a pod

loucypher sidled up to my desk this morning.

- did you hear? -rashan's, like, AWOL. nobody knows where he is, and we had to send allen to BigStinkyCo in his stead, only allen's not a WebSphere guy, so he had to do the dance. this is the third time rashan's done this.

- what about dauntay? isn't he WebSphere Portal Man?

- he's out too. he went home to Mali for a week. vacay.

- really? i didn't think he got vacation - quasar stuck his big nose in.

- why, quasar? cos he's black??
oh fuck. godDAMit loucypher you are a bad influence.

he is, too. he's singlehandedly responsible for the spoliation of the political correkdness grad school beat into me, as well as my full-bore Ultimate Alliance addiction. we marched through Silent Hill 3 together too, and he got me off the subway when i kept dying on the tracks. he's my id.

my box is now on UPS backup, because everytime Biz Dev prints to the color printer, it overloads the circuits to this side of the building and trips the breaker. installing more outlets, or giving us more juice, would make too much sense; so now everyone just runs off battery until the 50-page SOW's done printing. when i set my UPS up this morning, i pulled the socket guard off its 3-prong plug and planted it on loucypher's desk with the note, "Here is the Butt Plug you asked for."

so now everyone knows.


fatmammycat said...

Ah non PC friends, I trust you know my good pal Major. I won't even go into some of the shit he got up to over the christmas, suffice to say the word 'cunt' is now an adverb as well as a noun, verb and preverb. Another freind of ours wondered aloud, 'How does he get away with saying the shit he says? Why does he never get a glassing?'
And it's true, his relatively unglassed face is one of the great mysteries of life.

addon said...

finn, i reckon you should make a tv series about your office, something like "the office", except i am sure it would be way funnier.

nothing like dysfunction to give me a good laff.


finn said...

adam u don't know the HALF of it. more dysfunction coming soon; stay tuned.

cat, your good pal's a higher life form than us: he bandies and offends in order to expose ugly troofs. you KNOW you those parents should have traded in the pillow angel for a pit pull.

we, on the other hand, just bandy and offend ... and piss all over the floor in the bathroom. twenty's better-behaved i'm sure.

fatmammycat said...

No, he really isn't and he'd piss on anyone's floor in a heartbeat.

finn said...

then send him to work for us.

we need more cunts in this cunting cunthole.