ADD: Another Damn Du

this weekend i did my 3rd duathlon of the season and although i arrived at the race prepared, felt good, raced smart and had my transitions down pat, i still finished behind a bunch of women who were just stronger, fitter and more talented. i can't compete with women in their twenties anymore. i feel old and slow.

heehee. i won!! again! the "arrived at the race prepared" should have clued you -- please. a minute before the start, i was hustling to re-rack my bike and transition gear, having set up with the tri-geeks (who did the same bike and 2nd run legs, but started with a quarter-mile swim) instead of the duathletes. in my rush to move, my bike and i got tangled up in the caution tape marking the transition zone's perimeter and i thrashed about helplessly while the race director droned unintelligible instructions through a bullhorn. the more i struggled, the more entangled i got, and i felt like a mouse on one of those sticky traps. a hairy-chested grandpa in a speedo finally rescued me.

- oh no – adjured maggie, my closest competition, as i dragged my crap toward the du area – you just stay over there, finn.

i arrived at the start line with enough time to find my teammate flashmeister scandlethigh, he of the legs nicer than mine, and confirm the run and ride distances: SHORT! - 2-mile run, 12-mile bike, 5K run.

- do you ever read the race info before you show up for a race? - hotminster wondercalves asked.

- i read it, but i don't remember it. just like i can't remember your name – i think but don't say.

the field was twice as big as last weekend's – about 55 total – and my competition was slightly stronger, but only somewhat. the heavy hitters must still be recovering from short-course worlds.

i didn't dog the runs like i did last weekend so going into T1 i was approx top-10 overall and the first woman. the triathletes were already on the road, so i had plenty of people to catch. during the bike and 2nd run i passed all the tri women except for louise, who won, but that's no indication of how i'd have fared in the tri because the swim would have set me back about twelve billion years.

my bike leg literally rocked: the moderate crosswind buffeting my ears conjured the thunderolling drumline of tool's Ticks & Leeches, and if you know the song you can appreciate how easy it is to peg out a hard effort when you've got that rumbling in your head & gut.

the second run felt tougher than the first. the day was heating up and my hamstring was beginning to complain; so i ran a comfortably hard pace off the bike, then eased up when i thought my gap would hold. i ended up 7th overall. scarpfenster fleetinghorse was 2nd.

the bonus? -winning in front of your sponsor. i was wiping accelerade and snot off my top tube when roy, the local fuji rep, introduced himself. he congratulated me and asked me how i liked my bike. i love it - i gushed - i love the geometry and the feel of the carbon fiber, and i love fuji for sponsoring us and for unquestioningly replacing the 4-year-old road frame that i tore apart. i was a total whore for roy. i was so stoked on winning that if he'd asked me to plait flowers around my bike and pull it up on the podium to sing You Decorated My Life i would have done it in a heartbeat.

when i was packing up the car, some poor dude made the mistake of asking me how i liked my bike because his wife was trying to decide between fuji and quintana roo, and half an hour later he told me he really had to go because his mom was calling. see, roy? maybe you should consider paying my race entry fees. i'm easy.