Tuesday, July 31, 2007

being a celebrity is very difficult


i am glad i am not a celebrity because all the horrible things i do wouldn't be a secret anymore. like yesterday i was digging in my totebag for my iPrickle charger and i found a moldy banana i must have stuck in there last week sometime. it was black and squishy and mooshed all over. also, this morning i didn't know the Mayor was leading clients through the building and i belched loud enough that they heard me downstairs. then i ate nearly a pint of blueberries with my breakfast and now i am feeling a little "loose" down there.

if i were a celebrity everyone would know these things and point their fingers at me on the street. i would have to get a toy dog to carry around and i don't like toy dogs because they wee where they shouldn't and remind me of cats. they also run away during tractor pulls, and you and your cousin have to chase them onto the track and your cousin gets his foot run over by the sled and can't play soccer ever again and the dog is very dirty and you have to clean it.

so, i am glad i am not a celebrity.

10 comments:

Manuel said...

Jesus...what...huge...boke boke boke...I'm off to gouge my eyes out...

Mayrasmom said...

Manuel-
The sad thing is, this is one of the better recent photos of sa(i)d celebrity.
-K

finn said...

i think that pose is rather fetching dont you? and i have tried to reconstitute it while strutting around the office and waiting beside the printer but the only response ive elicited so far is the GayArtDirector asking me if i did my old "pint of blueberries for breakfast" trick again.

said/sad. i like that.

and manuel i thought you were a waiter but now i think you are the swedish chef in disguise. i wont tell though bec being a celebrity is so difficult.

Mayrasmom said...

When is FMC due back, maybe a new pic of Carrot Top will cleanse my eyes?
-K
PS. evidently the pint of blueberries trick makes you more famous than you think

Theo said...

You're tempting me to bring out the GIMP again, and I sooooo don't have the time...




PS -- "ON HANDS AND KNEES! WE CRAWL! YOU CAN NOT STOP US ALL!"

finn said...

bring out the Gimp! oh, here he is! -and he even bears passing resemblance to mic-tube kitteh. i do love lolnin, thank u teho.

kath i too eagerly await the return of CT, i mean, FMC. since she left every G&T i've made has been just a little off.

fatmammycat said...

Mother of Zeus, that's a whammy fanny of Bleee.
Urgh, too tired. I have a Meg Ryan Fish and the rum was unwatered and flowsome. Balenthia rocks, and the folk are gay and smiley and carrying manbags, when they're not chubby and peruvian, or For--eign and drunkards, my kind of town.
I don't know which cream to use on that rash though. I might mix up a few for the laugh, and also, I believe I will have another-I'm still on holiday right up until midnight.

Manuel said...

I came back for another look, it's like a picture of a dead person, you can't help but look....

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