Tuesday, July 03, 2007

stopping by the mall on a sunny afternoon

hey little girl, do you like candy? you do? come in here; i've got something i know you'll like. look at thissssss, precious. marvel at the shiny, sleek surface.....don't you want to touch it? run your finger across the face; press here. look – immediate response, information at your fingertips; instant gratification. store notes, music, pictures – you can take pictures too! - store up to 8 gigs of whatever you want. not your thing? what about a calendar, address book and music library you can sync with your home base? still not convinced? what about weather, stocks, YouTube? -- wait wait! -don't leave just yet. there's email, visual voicemail and a web browser built right in -- yes, that's what i said, a WEB browser. safari. yes, you can access regular web pages, and look – they're even readable on this small screen. look how you can re-size and move around the page like this, see? totally intuitive; easy-peasy-punkin-pie. here's how you click on links and input fields; this is how you magnify input boxes and move the cursor wherever you want within them. so that's your web access – now let me show you the Google maps functionality: it's just like on the web. you can get directions and see satellite views and – what's that? what's the monthly service charge for net access? are you a current AT&T customer? yes? well then it's what you're paying now, plus $20 per month, for unlimited access. miss? are you okay? do you normally froth around the mouth like that? should i call someone? a salesperson you say?? are you sure? right then, wait here...

and that, friends, is how i came to be one of the 500,000 victims of steve's jobbery this weekend. after all my brave talk about Thinking Different, i'm just another apple hoor.


but now i'm an apple hoor with net access at home, in the car, up my bunghole... anywhere i can find AT&T or a wifi network. huzfuckingzah.

9 comments:

Mayrasmom said...

Let us know if it works in Maine.
Enjoy-
K

Mayrasmom said...

By the way, how often do you even go to the mall? Hmmmmmm, you just happened to be in the neighborhood...
-K

finn said...

mmm hmmm. drove past towsontown centre on the way home from the 'rents and figured i'd mosey in. if this purchase were truly premeditated i'd have stayed in tax-free delaware.

small price to pay, though -- i heard the apple store in christiana was abs stuffed with people. towson was busy, but there was no waiting.

Mayrasmom said...

That explains a lot. You couldn't have paid me enough money to go to Christiana last weekend. I don't like the mall all that much, but it's cheap entertainment for Mayra, most of the time anyway.
-K

Theo said...

...but does it run Garage Band?

fatmammycat said...

Oh no you dih-ent!

finn said...

diddity did did did, dawg!

although it's kinda on the QT, more something that i confess rather than gloat about. funny how quickly you get acclimated to it though, and expect the iPhone to do all the stuff your Mac Book does and vice versa. for better or worse, apple truly blurs the lines between the H and the C in HCI. why why why did i suffer in windoze world as long as i did?!?

teho, i say garage band deserves a square on the what's next? iPhone bingo card.

addon said...

easily seduced ... trollop. gotta have, eh? heard about the creation of want? you are now enslaved. to the next gadget. to the next upgrade. to the next sexy ... thing.

finn said...

guilty as charged, adam.

but yesterday i actually read AND RESPONDED to email from the depths of my sofa. i've finally stepped into the 90s.

and i've found you can find happiness in slavery.