Wednesday, August 01, 2007

there is no you, there is only me

earlier this week, manuel wrote about the liberties his restaurant's customers take with him, assuming he'll tolerate their dashboard confessionals, blithe racism, and blatant infidelities without a peep. one of the regulars brings his mistress AND his family to the same restaurant (not at the same time, but wouldn't that be fun to engineer), causing some distress amongst the waitstaff.

do you know why Mr DickInTwoPlaces does this? it's because he's thinking about himself, not anyone else. it doesn't even occur to him that he's putting manuel into an awkward situation, because he's not thinking about manuel.

poor manuel's discomfort aside, this preoccupation with ourselves is awfully convenient sometimes. for instance, this morning i had the Y lockeroom to myself after my shower. as i dressed i held a short conversation with myself about my swim workout, beeped in response to the drained air freshener's cries, and hummed Lowrider.

thing is, i wasn't really alone. someone was taking a quiet-as-a-mouse crap in the stalls nearby; only the spin of the dinnerplate TP roll eventually revealed her presence. was i a little chagrined to be caught thusly, talking to myself and humming? sure! but then i realised that the little mouse was probably so invested in her own sitch, trying to crap quietly without moaning or cannonballing, that she didn't give a shit about me.

so the wisdom i'm imparting to you today, any of you teenagers out there because the rest of you probably figured this out way before now, is not to worry about looking like an idiot because people are too wrapped up in themselves to notice anyway.** so go forth and be yourselves.

**unless you're a celebrity, of course.

7 comments:

fatmammycat said...

If I followed that advice I'd be fucked rightly. I've got to sally forth and be someone else for another while yet. Then I can take over the world.

finn said...

take a pointy umbrella.
in both cases.

fatmammycat said...

There was a tarot reader there. I am befouled.

Manuel said...

As FMC says i I said what I wanted on such occasions I'd in and out of jobs more often than Britney makes a (huge) ass o herself. But well put all the same....

finn said...

it's not so much saying what you want; rather, it's not worrying about what others think of you because chances are they're not thinking of you anyway.

well, i might be thinking of you, but They're not.

Manuel said...

by the way the picture of GWB is funny as fuck...

finn said...

the beauty of dubya is that he needs no 'shoppin to look like an idiot.