this trick of dark imagining

- hello?
- neens? say when you were little you had this romantic notion of the person you thought you could be. and though you weren't really paying attention while you grew up, one day you took a step back and found you'd become that person. only, it turns out you don't like that person after all. what if you made a mistake? -and now you're wondering if you can change. can you start all over again? can you?
nina sighs.
- hon, you need to go for a run.
- but it's two a.m.!
- yes, it is. not the best time to weigh nature versus nurture. but here, i was reading about a group of monks who raise dogs, and one of the ways they assess a puppy's natural intelligence is by putting a towel over its head so it can't see, and then calling it. a smart dog will toss the towel off and run to the person calling.
- and?
- and i tried this on chloe. when i called her, she didn't even try to shake off the towel. she ran away from me and straight into the bookshelf with all my nursing textbooks. i think she got a slight concussion. she's walking in circles around the kitchen table.
- what does that mean?
- it means i have a dog as smart as a rock.
- what does it mean for me?
nina's fatigue is a fixed presence now, fingers pressing temples, lines in her forehead.
- i don't know. why don't you ask your Oracle.

so it goes.