Wednesday, October 29, 2008

i keep the bible in a pool of blood

lately i've been haunting the local football messageboard, don'taskwhy, and it is harder than you might think. first of all, i cannot keep my big piehole shut even if i know SFA about highschool football; and second, because students frequent the board and you get booted if you talk about drugs or use bad language, i have to use the TourettesCheck to make sure no shitfucksuckcunts slip out and get me banned. it is a different world out there, people. take this recent exchange:
[CYO = Catholic Youth Something]


Re: CYO Football
Does anyone else find it a little strange how most of the kids on the CYO teams are not even catholic?
Re: CYO Football
i find it a little strange that you know this, sportwatcher. do you have some kind of catholic divining rod?
Re: CYO Football
finleynine.. No divining rod needed. I just know the kids and families that play with my son, and know who I see and don't see at church. It is a common fact that most teams have more non catholics than catholics. I am sure you know the people in your church.

what the fuck is "church." no i am sure i don't know the people there.

i do, however, know that according to this meme i'll subject you to, my body gets 43 miles per gallon. i don't know whether my not having thrown up or fainted from exertion upped or damped this #.

43 miles per gallon


fatmammycat said...

39.5! A hybrid car, how nouvelle of me.
Careful with the boardwarriors oh Spyco1, if you don't 'know' the people in your church you're practically admitting to being a card carrying commie pinko liberal with godless tendencies.

Theo said...

Does Jeff Buckley count? How about if he sings Leonard Cohen? In "Shrek"? Plenty of churchy metaphor there.

I'm pretty sure Firefly counts, too. Wash said "Oh God Oh God we're all going to die" at least once, you know, before he did.

finn said...

you're right teho; i may have been interpreting too literally. next week when i attend services at the HOB in AC i will keep an eye peeled for sportwatcher.

FMC, you're much more fun than a hybrid.

Theo said...

"next week when i attend services at the HOB"


finn said...

and minge-singeing.