practising assertion

forgot to set the pot in the coffee machine and brewed a lake of coffee across the counter. it's going to be one of Those Days.

am feeling v manly, however, for last night i kicked two would-be fisherman off the property. i'd just come back from a run and was contemplating getting nekked and hopping in the pond for a cooldown when i heard a crashing in the bamboo. muffled curses. more crashing, then two guys popped out, readjusting their hats. i cocked my head.

-- hello, um, do you know this is private property?
they both did a passable job of looking surprised.
-- no. really? is it yours?
no need to get technical and explain i'm just a caretaker, right?
-- yes. and there's really nothing here anyway. the pond's really shallow --
here a fish makes an audible plop behind me -- and we've got wood ducks nesting in that box.
i gesture to a pristine-looking box. of course the male duck that's been perching there all week is in absentia.

to their credit, the dudes do NOT challenge my authority, despite the fact i'm standing there in my skimpy running togs, dripping with sweat and feeling like the biggest liar-head on the planet. they listen politely as i direct them to the park's pond across the street and then vanish into the bamboo as i march back up to the house with my chest puffed out.

i hope they don't come back and toilet-paper the house.