Tuesday, May 09, 2006

advice from carlos

hey now, all you sinners
turn your lights on
turn your lights on.

MyCo can't decide on much right now. are we staying, or are we moving? are we re-branding, or sticking with the same old identity? should we hire more full-time staff, or continue to overload the current batch?

while we languish in indecision on many fronts, we have introduced some changes. there's a tiled floor in the elevator, for one, and we've also cajoled some contractors into the building even though our interviewing process is a day of hell. you're stuck in front of the whiteboard while our CEO alternately berates, indoctrinates and subjugates you; and when he's done, you're cast to the partners, who tenderise you for another couple hours. finally, you're subjected to a battery of tests which evaluate your technical skills and design savvy, and assess your familiarity with ancient roman philosophers, the reproductive habits of dwarf hamsters and dealing with floaters left in the toilet.

if you pass with flying colors, and if you're not stark raving mad by then, we'll ask you to return the next morning to work a 12-hour day. and please bring your own computer cos we're short. if you have a desk, bring that too.

one poor soul who ran the gauntlet came to us from a temp agency. he was a JAVA programmer brought in to help us with the back-end programming for an online quote application. he seemed competent enough, though a little quiet, as i outlined the project requirements. he asked few questions and set to work around 9:30. an hour later, he approached my boss to excuse himself. he needed to go out to the parking lot; he thought he'd left his headlights on.

he left, and never came back.

we worried for a bit, fearing he'd fallen victim to one of the homeless guys who piss behind our cars or the crackheads that hit you up for a buck or two. a call to the temp agency relieved our anxiety: dude just didn't like it here and lit out as soon as he could.

which reminds me ... i think i left my headlights on.

had a great swim practise this morning, so i'm not quite ready to sell all my shit like this guy. yesterday was a little touch & go, though.

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