Thursday, June 21, 2007

and your father smelled of elderberry

alex and i did 100 IMs this morning, in a pool that over the weekend was rejigged from longitudinal yards to latitudinal meters. just when you think you're getting comfortable in it, the world flips a switch and suddenly you're bashing into the wall doing backstroke.

alex lingered in her shower while i bolted through mine and into the lockerroom. i was slathering on moisturiser when a strange woman popped her head around the corner.

- can i ask you a weird question? - she said.
- oh-kay.
- what perfume, or fragrance or whatever, do you use? cos it reminds me of Hymen Stymen by Jordan Smutherton - or something - i love it but it's been discontinued so i've been milking my last bottle, and whatever you have smells a lot like it.
alex sashayed in from the showers while i fished in my transition bag and proffered my lotion.
- is this what you smell?
she unscrewed the top; inhaled and nodded.
- yep, that's it. thanks a lot.

alex wrinkled her nose at me after the woman left.

- what? - i said defensively - you don't like the smell?
- it's not that.
- then what?
- i just think it's funny, that's all.
- WHAT'S funny - i'm feeling very naked.
- you. wearing j'adore with cargo shorts and an agnostic front t-shirt. it's funny, that's all. i don't think you're the christian dior target demographic.
- well there's a niche to be exploited then, isn't there.

i'm not loyal to fragrances by any means, but j'adore is pretty good at neutralising chlorine mollycules.

but aren't smells wonderful, and evocative? i have lost entire nights rummaging through my spice cabinet bottle by bottle. it starts with the thyme, progresses through ground cumin and marjoram, and by the time i hit up the almond extract hours have passed and the happy hour i said i'd attend is long over.

i love the smell of boat fuel and dry-erase markers and believe a book can be judged by its smell. sometimes i smell my 8th grade english teacher's perfume and am delivered back to A Tale of Two Cities and the shitty oral report i did on Old Bailey. walking through the aladdin casino in vegas i caught a thread of F's scent and felt momentarily dislocated; and josh and i tracked peter down the mobbed AC boardwalk by smell.
- i can find him in any crowd
- the fellow olfactophile announced - he uses that hippie shit, know what i'm talkin' about?
- patchouli?
- i offered.
- yeah. it's like a bead straight to him.

ever since that accident with the golf umbrellas, JBMS hasn't been able to smell anything, which is sad for her but convenient for people who fart a lot.

10 comments:

fatmammycat said...

Uncanny! I'm a Dior whore too. Well, actually considering how many folk wear Dior 'uncanny' might have been a bit of a stretch.
I'm feeling rather bollixed, you'll just have to excuse me.

finn said...

though you made it, can i still have a pissup in your honour?? well done fatcat.

[i love it when you talk about glycogen stores btw. it's hawt.]

fatmammycat said...

Naturally, Tuirsday is the new Friday as far as I'm concerned. Now if I could only get an answer to that question. Best way to replenish is...

finn said...

i'm a big fan of endurox: carbs + protein in a 4:1 ratio.

a bottle of that and a pint or two of the black stuff after a hard effort and you'll be right as rain.

fatmammycat said...

Do you think doing another shorter run tomorrow is a good idea? Frankly I feel a bit whacked but Aishling says it's tops for endurance.

finn said...

sure -- a short, easy run will be good recovery, too... as long as it IS short (20-30min max) and easy.

and if, after a mile, you still feel whacked, give yourself permission to bail.

fatmammycat said...

Thank you Dahling, you're simply to die for.

addon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
addon said...

folks, i can still smell the scent my first real girl-friend used to use all these years ago, i followed her to London but then she went to Geneva .... sigh ...

finn said...

that's exactly what i'm talking about.