and your father smelled of elderberry
alex and i did 100 IMs this morning, in a pool that over the weekend was rejigged from longitudinal yards to latitudinal meters. just when you think you're getting comfortable in it, the world flips a switch and suddenly you're bashing into the wall doing backstroke.
alex lingered in her shower while i bolted through mine and into the lockerroom. i was slathering on moisturiser when a strange woman popped her head around the corner.
- can i ask you a weird question? - she said.
- oh-kay.
- what perfume, or fragrance or whatever, do you use? cos it reminds me of Hymen Stymen by Jordan Smutherton - or something - i love it but it's been discontinued so i've been milking my last bottle, and whatever you have smells a lot like it.
alex sashayed in from the showers while i fished in my transition bag and proffered my lotion.
- is this what you smell?
she unscrewed the top; inhaled and nodded.
- yep, that's it. thanks a lot.
alex wrinkled her nose at me after the woman left.
- what? - i said defensively - you don't like the smell?
- it's not that.
- then what?
- i just think it's funny, that's all.
- WHAT'S funny - i'm feeling very naked.
- you. wearing j'adore with cargo shorts and an agnostic front t-shirt. it's funny, that's all. i don't think you're the christian dior target demographic.
- well there's a niche to be exploited then, isn't there.
i'm not loyal to fragrances by any means, but j'adore is pretty good at neutralising chlorine mollycules.
but aren't smells wonderful, and evocative? i have lost entire nights rummaging through my spice cabinet bottle by bottle. it starts with the thyme, progresses through ground cumin and marjoram, and by the time i hit up the almond extract hours have passed and the happy hour i said i'd attend is long over.
i love the smell of boat fuel and dry-erase markers and believe a book can be judged by its smell. sometimes i smell my 8th grade english teacher's perfume and am delivered back to A Tale of Two Cities and the shitty oral report i did on Old Bailey. walking through the aladdin casino in vegas i caught a thread of F's scent and felt momentarily dislocated; and josh and i tracked peter down the mobbed AC boardwalk by smell.
- i can find him in any crowd - the fellow olfactophile announced - he uses that hippie shit, know what i'm talkin' about?
- patchouli? - i offered.
- yeah. it's like a bead straight to him.
ever since that accident with the golf umbrellas, JBMS hasn't been able to smell anything, which is sad for her but convenient for people who fart a lot.
10 comments:
Uncanny! I'm a Dior whore too. Well, actually considering how many folk wear Dior 'uncanny' might have been a bit of a stretch.
I'm feeling rather bollixed, you'll just have to excuse me.
though you made it, can i still have a pissup in your honour?? well done fatcat.
[i love it when you talk about glycogen stores btw. it's hawt.]
Naturally, Tuirsday is the new Friday as far as I'm concerned. Now if I could only get an answer to that question. Best way to replenish is...
i'm a big fan of endurox: carbs + protein in a 4:1 ratio.
a bottle of that and a pint or two of the black stuff after a hard effort and you'll be right as rain.
Do you think doing another shorter run tomorrow is a good idea? Frankly I feel a bit whacked but Aishling says it's tops for endurance.
sure -- a short, easy run will be good recovery, too... as long as it IS short (20-30min max) and easy.
and if, after a mile, you still feel whacked, give yourself permission to bail.
Thank you Dahling, you're simply to die for.
folks, i can still smell the scent my first real girl-friend used to use all these years ago, i followed her to London but then she went to Geneva .... sigh ...
that's exactly what i'm talking about.
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