Tuesday, June 05, 2007

NIN shows are crazy

the scrum over the tambourine tossed into the crowd at the BRMC show reminded me of an encounter last week. stop me if you've heard this one before.

we just hired a batch of new designers, and now axl, princess leia and eugene are struggling to adjust to our flextime, free lunches and dress code that ranges between brooks brothers suits and Henry the Serial Killer tees. tough place.

one day last week eugene arrived at 7am. the prize for coming in 2nd is that the triple-strength ass coffee is fresh and hot. it gives shy persons the strength to get up and do what needs to be done, and that's perhaps why i looked up from my boxes and arrows to find eugene standing at my desk.

- hullo – he began timorously.
- hey.
- how're you.
- fine. busy. fine. - then i remember my manners - How Are You.
- oh, i'm good. yep. sooo.
- so. - i am aching to get back to my deliverable due in hours, but i also want to make nice with the new guy in case i ever need anything from him. could happen. plus i am a little curious. eugene comes to us from one of the local financial giants, and i read him as the type who plots his life on a gantt chart. i wonder how he'll survive here, where we'll expect him to juggle a half-dozen jobs whose scopes change daily.
- so are you the nine inch nails fan?
- erm, yes. - at this hour of the morning, the only other car in the lot is the honda with the NIN sticker.
- yeah, i like them too. i went to a show once. it was CRAZY. - now my interest is piqued.
- really.
- yes, it was the tour they did for the album before the new one; what was it called?
- With Teeth?
- no, something else.
- The Fraggle? the Fragile, i mean. - hur hur. i crack myself up.
- that's it. i went with a woman from work. it was a real scene. wow. we were just sitting there (sitting??) and suddenly this waterbottle comes out of nowhere, right at my friend! one of the guys onstage threw it! (one of the guys??) and, to this day, i don't know how i did it, but i reached out and batted it away just in time. just before it hit her! she was sooo surprised!
the recollection's taken eugene back in time. he pauses, panting wetly.
- and then this bunch of girls in front of us all dove for the bottle and started fighting over it. it was just crazy!
- wow. betcha got laid that night.
- what?!
- i said, you got whatcha PAID for that night.

might as well break him in fast. E gently chided me for taking the piss with poor eugene, who was simply trying to find a common ground for conversation; but i, who've been at MyCo since the paleolithic period, can't begin to relate. the idea of someone attempting to curry favor with me is laughable anyway. i'm a unrepentant curmudgeon even when my hamstring isn't fucked.

i haven't run in a week. i can literally feel my calf and quad muscles dissolving into decrepitude, and my hamstring STILL hurts. penis fuck shit cunt.


addon said...

ne'er mind finn i am with you in spirit.

fatmammycat said...

There now, there now. He deserved some serious ribbing for the sitting comment. Oh what it must be like to work with actual folk. Snarf.

finn said...

snarf you may FMC but didn't i find 55 cents in the bathroom this morning. i believe it may have belonged to the same person who left the floater in the bowl.

you didn't pick it up, did you - said loucypher. (the change, not the floater.) why not? 20 more cents and i'll have a can of pop from the vending machine.

adam, i hope you're doing okay. when you're mum for so long i fear there are dark days. i miss your stories.