Thursday, August 09, 2007

RTFM: Riding with Finn


if you are going to invite me on a 2-hour bicycle ride on a day when the heat index is well into triple digits, there are some things you should know:


-- you better have drunken enough. 3 miller lites the night before don't really count, even though they might as well have been water for all the good it did me.
-- i will ask if you want to "add on a couple miles" to the route you carefully laid out on MapMyRide. you should say NO.
-- if we meet one of my teammates on the road, you should not have a Festival of Penises to see who breaks first. chances are it will be me and i will hate you for having a penis in the first place.
-- i will suggest "why don't we take back roads. they'll be cooler." you should say NO.
-- that bottle on the shoulder you assume i see? i probably don't. you might wanna call it out.
-- it is normal for me to hum the same song for 3 hours.
-- there are real physiological factors behind the precept that women have better endurance. you may discover this for yourself around mile 40. then again, you should have drunken more.
-- if the ride ends up running 3 hours, if you bonk and need a gel from me, if you cramp on that steep fucker of a climb on hopkins, if you're late meeting your buddies at mcglynn's and you almost go into renal failure, you should be a good sport. as you were.

4 comments:

fatmammycat said...

How in the name of marmalade can anyone stay in a saddle that long? Unless your saddle is armchairesque. But I"m guessing it ain't.

Mayrasmom said...

festival of penises?
hmmmmmm-
K

finn said...

it's been that way the whole week, kath. i'm beginning to feel a little used, and not in the way i'd prefer.

i dunno, FMC. you just get used to it after a while. i felt like i could have ridden forever yesterday, as long as we kept stopping at friends' houses for water. we got invited to dinner, boy that chicken smelled good and it was hard to say no.

Manuel said...

Mentalist