Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Performing Monkey Day

and thisun's a biggun.

winning this job will allow the Mayor to retire to Sherwood Forest and smoke doobies for the rest of his life; and it'll almost-guarantee i'll never have to whore myself out to any more financial giants.

last night i wrote out my script. here's the part where i really get my wheels revving:

what will make our assessment successful? it's recognising PURPLE NURPLES are more than just SCROTAL SACS -- it's taking into account business and user KNOCKWURST. FOREPLAY! it's appreciating how information is FUCKFACED and FLIBBERTYGIBBETED, as dictated (DICKtated!!!) by those SCROTAL SACS. it's easy to overwhelm your HAMMER TOES by presenting all your information up front, unfiltered, UP YOURS -- what's harder, but ultimately more efficacious, is the practise of FIST FUCK, or telling users TO FUCK THE FUCK OFF, revealing the right PECKERHEAD to the right SAVASANA at the right PENISFUCKSUCKCUNT.

wish me luck.


fatmammycat said...

Beautiful, just beautiful. Fingers crossed Toots, fingers and possibly eyes.

finn said...


i think jimba (Performing Monkey No2) and i are going to bernies (jager shits, i mean shots, all day) for lunch.

that should help.

how's that shed?

fatmammycat said...

Dismantled. A bit like my bloody brain.

finn said...

i'll share some sauce then.

(mine's not brown.)

fatmammycat said...

Well? How went it? Are you jagered to the max?

finn said...

it went as well as it could considering:
-- the power went out as soon as we arrived, so we relocated to the atriumed cafeteria
-- power returned just as we got rolling, so we repaired to the conf room, where
-- the power went out again,
-- so we delivered our presentation to 9ppl by the glow of a laptop until power came back 15min later.

and that part where I really get my wheels revving?? -totally forgot it.

OTOH I didn't get stuck in the revolving door.

did your day improve?

fatmammycat said...

Bravo on the door!
My day-It didn't get any worse, that's the best I can offer.

finn said...

there comes a point when one settles for the small victories.

that's when we taketh of the hemlock.

til then, bring on the marathons, and bring on richmond!!!


[I got a (guarded) clean bill of health from st. rudy this aft.]

addon said...

you've got the job finn! gotta win with that spiel!

fatmammycat said...

LIke you say toots, we'll take the small victories and guarded or not, it's a nod in the right direction.
Huzzah indeed!

finn said...

but i am so sleeeeepy; this getting back into training is hard woooooork. wah wah cry cry.

adam, no doubt we'd have won hands down with that spiel IF it hadn't sprouted wings and flown out of my head, to be replaced by a lot of bumbling and malapropisms that would have made Our Glorious Leader proud.