Monday, September 10, 2007

my housesitter left his porn behind...

having returned from vacay with a need to go minimal, i've spent the last two weekends weeding out my closets and packing bags for Goodwill. this weekend i attacked the closet in the TV room, where winter clothes are stored.

imagine my first-consternation, then glee, when i came upon these works of art jammed between a couple of my wool sweaters:

i'm 99.9% sure the culprit is F, who house-sat while D and i were in maine -- homie left the plastic wrap for the jenna jameson oeuvre under the TV tray for D to find when he vacuumed. (we're a little burned that F left just the boxes and absconded with the discs.) we entertained various hypotheses to explain why the boxes were hidden in my sweaters: cleaning up for company, perhaps? a cry for help? were your sweaters stuck together? - asked D.

the real question is, do i return these to F? if so, how? do i pop into the biz dev meeting tomorrow morning and say thanks for house-sitting man, but you left these behind while half of MyCo looks on? do i leave them in full view on his desk? do i tell F i'm through with D because i found porn in the house and i'm sure it's his? or do i pack them in a brown paper bag and coolly leave them on his chair?

cruel or kind?
WWYouD?

14 comments:

fatmammycat said...

Nail em to whatever communal board you have and let he who without sin comment first.

finn said...

DAStardly.

and i suppose you would recommend i do this on wed, the 1st day of ramadan, when F is gearing up for Holiness & Purity.

Mayrasmom said...

make him watch Britney's VMA "performance"???
-K

fatmammycat said...

Mayrasmom! It was just porn, nobody deserves that.
Finn, seems as good a time as any to me.

Mayrasmom said...

Point taken, I withdraw my suggestion.
-K

finn said...

I'm disappointed in Britney fans who are trashing her saying stuff like "I don't even want your new CD now" excuse me? you call yourselves fans? If the rumors are true that before the performance people were laughing at Britney calling her a mess, has-been etc. If It was me? & I had to perform In the next 2 minutes, I don't think I would feel all that good about myself either. Even though the performance wasn't great, I still respect Britney & LOVE her 110% After everything she has been through this year, divorce, shaving her head, rehab, custody battles etc she still had the guts to get up on that stage & that's what counts.

finn said...

i kid, i kid.

but somebody really did say that.

fatmammycat said...

Damn, I wish had the guts to get up on a stage somewhere, lip-sync my way through a song looking bored AND high, while wearing a too small sparkly two-piece, fishnets and a weave my cat hacked up..
Where my balls at y'all.




And yet I can't help it, I do feel an iddy biddy tini tiny bit bad about laughing. Ooo I"m so COMPLEX, ack ack ack.

Mayrasmom said...

OK, here's a different idea, make F look at recent pics of Jena James...
-K

fatmammycat said...

Eeeek!

finn said...

hmmm... just how familiar are you with JJ, MM? FMC??

westolowski said...

JJ is so wack. Hasn't she had multiple fucking cosmetic surgeries on her face? She's probably some kind of Japanese robot.

Oh, yeah, finn, welcome back!

fatmammycat said...

Surprisingly VELLY. I even know all abut her eating disorder, nasty-asssed divorce, new horrible brick headed boyfriend, new tattoo and removed implants-which I believe she then stuck in her lips.
God I need help.

finn said...

you people are a font of knowledge i swear. what would i do without you.