Thursday, January 24, 2008

living for matilda

vicariously i have been following the heath ledger comment threads on the NYT and IDLYITW sites because i liked the guy and i'm a fucking ghoul, okay?? -plus it's a whackjob circus: the women are keening, the jesus freaks are leveraging the opp to convert some souls, and the dickweeds are wiping their hands and loudly proclaiming "good riddance" very dickweedishly.

here's one of my fave responses:

Wow. The vaginas have really been stricken with a good dose of insanity with this news. I haven't seen this many insane emotional women since Sex In The City was canceled.

Cheep up and live your lives, ladies....he didn't give a fuck about you.

By anonymous, on January 23, 2008 03:36:57

kinda puts it in perspective, don't it.

every 6th or so comment the same plaint arises: poor matilda will grow up without a daddy. what a selfish act. what kind of person would leave a child behind.

i'm not a parent so i don't see the whole picture here, but the expectation that you should stick around in a life you find unbearable SOLELY because you have a child raises my hackles.

my question to those of you who are parents is this: do you share this belief? and if so, is it something you consciously agree to when you decide to be a parent, or does it grow naturally once you're responsible for a dependent?


Mayrasmom said...

In this case, I don't think they've established that it was suicide.
I know a family where the Dad decided to take his own life, and years later, his youngest son (late 20s at the time) decided to do the same thing, he left behind a young son, and it just seemed unspeakably sad.
I also have a friend who was a deleriouly happy newlywed, until her hubby decided to jump off the DMB 2 months after their marriage.
Seeing how horrible the aftereffects were seems to have cured me of my suicidal thoughts.
All this happened before I became a parent though.
So I suppose the answer is,no, it's not some form of parental programming.

fatmammycat said...

Jesus, why can't folk just pay their respects and move the fuck on, why the autopsy and rending.
I'm pretty sure parents are people first, parents second, so maybe they should try living because they want to live and there's good shit to live for.

finn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
finn said...

not arguing for or against living FMC, and as for moving on -- maybe it's harder when a death comes out of the blue. like when dimebag was shot and loucypher & i were in shock even though we didn't know the man.

and kath you're right: the cause of death is, may always be, in question. but the reactions have been interesting, some of them, and this idea that as a parent you're more responsible to your child than yourself is provocative.

thanks for your responses.

Mayrasmom said...

I basically think the peeps acting as if they know what happened to focus on keeping their own house in order.
In terms of stuff I think I need to do a a Mom, I think I need to drive more carefully for my daughter and myself, and since I'm an older Mom I do worry that something (heart attack, stroke, alzheimers) could happen to me while my daughter is still young.

finn said...

if mayra is a reason for you to take better care of yourself, i am all for that.

you might be interested to know that despite protests, picketing and Fox News' comments jesus is just alright with heath.

fatmammycat said...

"About Me? I'm 5 foot 11, brown hair, brown eyes, Son of God, eternal, I LOVE my family and friends, I LOVE my enemies, My dad can beat up your dad, created lightning bugs, etc. "

hahhahhhhhsssshhsh aw. That really helped today