Monday, June 02, 2008

Pyramid in Your Pants

friday's Happiness lasted approx 8 hours, or until dr foot called to say my x-ray and MRI reveal a stress fracture. before confining me to Das Boot for 4-6weeks he wants to see me tomorrow so he can confirm. know how you confirm a stress fracture? (you learn a lot when you are injured.) you ring a standard-issue tuning fork and apply it to the bone-in-question.
- if there's a fracture, you'll light up like a christmas tree! - dr foot tittered - and when i press down on it with my finger you might pass out.
- you sound like a great date - i said sullenly.

it's JUNE motherfucker. i've raced TWICE this season, NO victories, when this time last year i had about 8 races under my belt and i think i was winning things.
i am frustrated and chafing and so full of testosterone i keep checking to see if i've grown a penis but nothing yet. yesterday it was so bad that even though i should have been riding easy, i chased down a skinny old man riding his cruiser bike down valley road. i'm sure grandpa was really impressed and after he got to the library and unpacked his panniers i bet he told the people behind the Returns desk how he got passed on his way there by a girl (i think it was a girl). yes i'm sure that's how it went down.

oh penisshitfuckcunt. i need to not have a stress fracture.


Mayrasmom said...

don't think yoga toes can help with a stress fracture.

fatmammycat said...

Poor old soul, for three whole kilometers I fully understood.

Subhangi said...

Damn. Sorry to hear that.

Hope you get well soon.

aquaasho said...

Sorry to hear that Finn. Are you still allowed swim and cycle? (Maybe you've answered that, I'm still catching up on your posts!)