Thursday, October 02, 2008

get a basset. or a b.collie

the cats needed food so yesternoon found me in the catfood aisle, which always makes me grumpy. why should i spend MY money on animals that, when they're not sleeping, are puking up half-digested small mammals, fighting in the middle of the night or shitting in the flowerbeds? where is the return on investment here?

standing in the catfood section inevitably brings up these sorts of existential questions and i was cranky as jean paul when a couple rolled up, she in Chanel sunglasses, he in a McNabb jersey. they were talking about how to stock up for her parents who'd be house-sitting this weekend.

- and we need catfood - she said as she breezed by fragrantly and stopped in front of the Fancy Feast. ha-fucking-ha. as if.
- i got catfood last week. it's in the basement. remember?
- oh no. that's not good enough for my mother.
my man grabs that pass...
- well, she ain't gotta eat it. does she.
...and runs it into the endzone.

i give him the victory-sign; he grins over her shoulder and she turns around, curious, but i'm already sliding away with my $3.99 bag of NutraCat. ON SALE bitches.

- why do you buy this shit? - D asks later - the cats won't eat it.
i'm unrepentant.
- good. they're too fat anyway.
- seriously. why can't you just buy the stuff they like?
- they'll eat it eventually. quit worrying.
and the evening went downhill from there.

cats. so not worth it.


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Twenty Major said...

I just want to support your face in with a brick, you spamming twat.

Cats, picky fuckers and no mistake.

Mayrasmom said...

My tolerance honeymoon with Mayra's cat is decidedly over.
sympathetically yours-

finn said...

time to bury it. give it a dirt bed, as E would say.

those ppl who have cool cats, like the mayor, describe them as dog-like -- affectionate and playful -- so why not just skip the cat-step i always wonder.

twenty you're a fine defensive line.

fatmammycat said...

Hmm, I have become a cat butler of late, thus shrinking the love I normally feel for them. HOWEVER! We lock our cats up at night AWAY from the house, and don't let them out again until morning. No fuss and no mid-night fighting to contend with. I believe I may have mentioned this to you before. Come eight pm, the whole lot of them are actually queueing up outside the shed. I put this down to that being feeding time too. And sheep skin beds.

finn said...

putting them to sleep sounds a lot more practical, esp since we're apparently giving them food out of *cans* now. remember these are not Puddies, or even BOTCs.

Theo said...