Wednesday, April 19, 2006

the litterbox plot

yesterday D left for the rockies, where he's co-leading a treehugger trip. when he led this trip a year ago, he saved the group's skin by performing mad evasive maneuvers when a sleepy elderly dude sailed his car into oncoming traffic. the exec director received effusive letters of praise on D's behalf when the group returned home safely. wonder what herculean task he'll perform this year.

meanwhile, i am a bachelorette. pajama party all the time! just me and the dog. the fucking cats will not set foot in the house while i'm in charge. they can do all their fighting and scratching and puking and other retard activities OUTSIDE. i have a song to commemorate these occasions. it's sung to the tune of Camptown Races, and it goes like this:

Outdoor Kitties, sing this song
doo dah, doo dah
Outdoor Kitties all day long
dum didahdoo da day.

no doubt one or more of 'em will express their displeasure by hoarking on the hood of my car, but it's worth it.

the only spot of disquiet i have is the litterbox. D's suspicions will be raised if he returns to a clean litterbox, and he will not believe me if i said i cleaned it, cos i've never done so in my life. thoughts? will a couple sticky tootsie rolls suffice? should i take a dump in there? could be fun...


Theo said...

Just FYI... in my experience, which is not small, cats treat their humans reciprocally. Just sayin'.

finn said...

oh theo, it is _such_ a long story.

to summarise, i DID like cats when we only had 2, but then the 3rd arrived (all our animals are strays) and destroyed the balance.

it mightn't be so bad if they weren't all female. GIRLS. hurk.

fatmammycat said...

As a woman who has stepped into various puddles of cat sick over the year, had my bed peed on twice because one of the cats fought with another one, cannot leave a plastic bag down anywhere and used to not live in an apartment, may I just say I fully understand.
The big one does nothing wrong I have to say, it's just the other two do enough for three cats and if I ever move into a house again the other two are going to spend great chunks of time outdoors.( of course as I type the youngest one is curled up asleep behind me on my chair, they are so sweet when they are asleep)
Now, ammonia spilled into the litter tray and smooched around should do the trick that and clumps of muck, partially covered naturally. And trust me, male female, makes no difference.