lance in paris

that bastion of gossip integrity, The New York Post, reports that lance armstrong's been consorting with paris hilton. now paris may be a vivacious young lady capable of scintillating repartee, but i can't help wondering what she and lance talk about. like, blow jobs, maybe? and, like, how they, like, put holes in your face?

"My mom told me that you get those holes in your face, craters... from giving blow jobs. "I totally believed her. She's like, 'It's from sucking.' I'm like, 'Ewwww!' "I told my boyfriend - he's like, 'Why don't you ever do that?' I'm like, 'Because my mom told me you get these craters.' And he's like, 'Paris, you're 19. You're allowed to do this.' "I've only done that (fellatio) with maybe three people in my life."

i didn't make this up, though i'm embarrassed to be able to reference it. the web is a terrible thing.

lance armstrong & paris hilton is just wrong. that's like ian thorpe & ... oh ... tommy lee. i'd dwell on this more if i hadn't just been struck by this:

upon further thought, i realise i have never seen these two men in the same place at the same time. and then i found this:

run with that, NY Post.