role reversal
JR, MyCo's self-professed manwhore, appeared as a suppliant at my desk this morning.
- F tells me you know all about muscle tears and shit. i need help. i think i tore my trap lifting too hard on saturday.
- did you feel it tear while you were lifting? like did it totally give out?
- no, but it was really sore sunday morning and i couldn't lift this morning either.
- then it's probably just a pull. take a shitload of ibuprofen, stretch it and get a massage if you can. what're you doing lifting so much anyway? you gonna start body building? watch out -- you could end up prolapsing your rectum.
JR winces. for a manwhore he can be really pansy-arsed. he wigged out a bit during the centipede vid, for ex. (note: pansy-arsed ppl shd NOT click. u kno who u r.)
- i gotta get in shape for acapulco. - he and F are reliving their college days doing spring break down there in march. here's another thing i love about F: he's all muslim fast-during-ramadan, pray, clean body, family boy; then he goes utterly may-fly bacchanal, then returns home and grounds his brother cos he failed a calculus exam. and just like JR, he's in heavy lifting mode now too. gots to impress the lizadies - he explains, and just laughs when i tell him he's perfect the way he is.
so hah, you fuckers. for once YOU can grapple with the insecurities and dissatisfaction with body image crap. worry worry worry while i just don't give a flying fuck because i am running again and life is good.
GAD sent out a link to this YouTube vid to MyCo's inner sanctum, subjecting it "JR's last date."
"i would go out with her," i reply-all'd after watching.
his response was immediate. "you are her, finn."
not a flying fuck.
today, at least.
oh, and to the people on the treadmills to either side of me this morning?? -i'm really sorry about the garlic. it seemed like a good idea last night.
3 comments:
Bleeeeeeee......ahahaahahahahah, bleeeeeeeeee, hahahahahahah no seriously bleeeeeeeee, ahahahahaha, aw fuck it. I'm sending it to Etheline, if she get's fired so be it I'm so congested I won't hear her screaming down the phone anyways. bleeeahahah hack hack cough.
one man's sick is another man's porn, just as one man's meat is another man's Quorn.
i swear -- i try to warn people and it's like moths to a flame. :)
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