Thursday, May 15, 2008

alternatives to running, pt 1

it should be fairly obvious from the presence of Frankenfoot that i cannot run. the Oracle has worked around this obstacle by prescribing pool-running. if you've never done or seen it, pool-running is strapping on a flotation belt and contracting your legs to move at top speed down the lane of a pool, travelling at the pace of a hungover snail dragging a brick. ever had that nightmare where you're running as fast as you can and going nowhere? then you've pool-run. just imagine that same nightmare only with less blood, fewer clowns, and david hasselhoff never shows up.

so D has come to the rescue by submitting his proposal to save me from the mind-gobbling boredom of staring at the walls of the Y's indoor pool for hours and hours and hours.
- why don't you run in the pond in the backyard? down by the spillway it's deep enough. i can hook you up so you have some resistance, and you can just run in place. you could be out in NATURE.
- what about the snapper? - i asked timorously.
there is a snapping turtle the size of a Smart Car in the pond. it eats ducks and goslings and once it made a grab for fat lodie when she was hunting voles in the jewelweed.
- oh you'll be making too much commotion for it to want to bother you.

yeah right. i see a nefarious little training strategy shaping up here.


aquaasho said...

Aw Finn that pool lark sounds boring. I used to be like that about swimming, I keep telling myself I love it in the hope that the power of positive thinking will take over. It's happening.... but slowly.

fatmammycat said...

Snappers eh? Ask yourself, do you really need beebee toes for balance?

finn said...

are you suggesting i'm balanced??

the pool is much better now that the bubble's been taken off and we're outside. even in the rain. (you're wet anyway, right?)

Mayrasmom said...

Well Finn,
Beleive it or not Mom spent part of her childhood on a farm that bordered marshland. They used to catch snappers to sell for soup. She seems to think the snapper won't bother you if you're moving, but she finished her thoughts with -
"but I'm not sure..."

finn said...

please tell yer mum thanks for the advice. (i know she's fine on the finger front, but does she have all her toes?)

and given her snapper experience, would she suggest that i swim with one of the cats beside me? with its front legs tied together perhaps, and bleeding a bit? i don't have to NOT be prey as long as there's something easier available.